7 Proven Tips For Getting Back With Your Ex

Getting back with your ex can be a challenge and it’s not easy to be alone after a breakup. You may constantly wonder what your ex is doing, if he misses you, or has he moved on. It’s normal to overthink things, like whether you could have done anything different, or question if he ever really loved you. But just because the relationship is over, doesn’t mean the love is gone.

There are many cases where partners have rekindled after a breakup. In fact, a 2013 Kansas State University study found that over 23% of married couples had broken up and gotten back together at least once prior to marriage, and over 37% of couples who were living together had experienced a breakup and renewal in their current relationship.

But can a rekindled relationship really work the second time around? “As long as there aren’t serious issues such as abusive behaviour in the relationship and each partner really cares about the other, a second chance at a successful relationship could work. Communication is the foundation.” says Noelle Nelson, PhD, psychologist.

So if you are serious about getting back with your ex, you should first ask yourself a few questions; Is he worth it? Does he still care about you? Do you think both of you are able to put in the effort it takes to make it work this time around? If the answer to these questions is yes, then we have 7 proven tips to help you get back with an ex once and for all.

You might think that the key to getting your ex back is to just talk to him. But first, he has to realise how much he misses you. So, you have to cut off all contact with him for at least four weeks for that to happen. That means no texts, phone calls, commenting on his social media, or running into him “by accident”.

This can be difficult to do if you desperately want him back, but it is a proven method. According to a study by the site Ex Back Permanently, most couples who got back together successfully did so after 1-6 months, and what helped them the most to rekindle the relationship was self-improvement, time apart and no contact.

2. Focus On Your Life

Use this “no contact” phase to improve your life. Focus on your health and fitness. Start a new exercise routine, hang out with friends, and try the things you’ve always wanted to do. You’ll become physically and emotionally healthier, meaning you’ll gain a new perspective on your relationship.

Also focus on becoming a better partner for when you do get back together with your ex. Learn to control your negative emotions so you won’t push him away by acting needy. Once you start to focus on yourself, your ex will find you irresistible as there is nothing more attractive than a woman who takes care of herself and has her own life.

3. Show Him The New You

Once you have started focusing on yourself, it’s time to share some photos online of your new improved life. This will definitely spark curiosity in your ex, who might already be missing you since you haven’t contacted him in a while. He might even decide to give you a call or message you to ask what’s going on in your life.

If he does, be nice and friendly. Tell him about the positive changes you have made in your life, and the exciting things you are planning to do. But don’t give away everything! You want to leave him wanting to find out more. Instead, you can use this opportunity to ask him if he wants to hang out someday to talk more.

4. Casually Hang Out With Your Ex

If your ex hasn’t called you or asked to meet up with you after one month of no contact, then you can invite him to hang out with you and some mutual friends. Whether that’s going out for a drink or playing miniature golf, it should be a fun and lighthearted day out so you can reconnect and talk casually with each other.

It’s essential to make sure your friendship is intact before starting any serious talks about getting back together. If you are unsure about his feelings, you might be able to recreate the moment you both fell in love. Studies have found that staring into someone’s eyes and asking personal questions can create an intimate bond.

5. Have An Honest Conversation

After you’ve spent some time together as friends and feel there is no hostility between the two of you, it’s time to put your heart on your sleeve. Tell your ex that you’ve wanted to talk to him about your relationship to see if he is interested in getting back together. Remind him of some of the good and fun times you had when you were a couple.

However, you broke up for a reason. So, you must also discuss your issues honestly to avoid falling back into the same toxic relationship. Set boundaries with each other and come to a reasonable agreement that holds you both accountable for your actions. Only then will you both learn to trust each other again.

6. Take Things Slow

It can be tempting to slip back into the “I love you” phase and spend every waking minute together. However, you shouldn’t expect things to pick up where they left off. The two of you may have changed during your time apart. And you must have your own life, like the one you created during your “no contact” phase.

Instead, try to start over and get to know each other again. Act like you don’t know his likes and dislikes as he could be a different person since you last dated. You are also a different person now, so tell him more about how you have improved your life during your time apart. That way, you can start with a clean slate.

7. Keep Communicating

Once you’re back together, it’s normal for old patterns to reappear. That’s why you should set clear boundaries and keep communication open. Speaking openly about any issues, big or small, is key to avoiding another breakup. You don’t want a small issue turning into something big just because neither of you wants to talk about it.

As this is now a second-chance relationship, you may have to work extra hard to make things work. However, as long as you both realise this, put in an equal amount of work into the relationship, and are honest with each other, you have every chance to succeed in rebuilding the relationship and make it even better than it was before.

Conclusion

The trick to getting back with an ex is not to keep bugging him and appear desperate, as this might push him further away. Instead, take time to focus on yourself. Become the person you want to be, and do the things you always wanted to do. Once he realises what he is missing, and sees glimpses of the improved you, then there is a good chance he will come back to you.

If he contacts you, or if you decide to contact him after you’ve worked on yourself, you must take things slow. You should start as friends and learn to communicate again. Once you are on good terms, have an honest conversation about the possibility of getting back together. Plus, always keep in mind the reasons why you split up in the first place. Only then can you work on those issues, spot and prevent any negative patterns from developing again, and build a long-lasting happy relationship.

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